I hate my dog. Yes, I know it’s weird. Usually people love their dogs, I am the opposite. You are probably thinking that I really do like my dog, but the truth is that I dislike my dog. Yes, my dog does some funny things that some people would find adorable. I find the opposite; my dog is a mess that no one sees. All she does is bark, eat, and think about eating. I mean, how do you find that adorable? Her main function in life is to occupy someone's life until either the owner or the dog dies.  

I guess that means they’re loyal, but that’s only one of a few good qualities. One of their bad qualities is the slime that comes from the deep regions of their esophagus and right into our laps, knees, faces, or arms. It’s so disgusting I’m having trouble writing this. My dog runs like an out-of-control bronco, flailing limbs and everything. Her brain seems like it’s focused primarily on eating and barking, while we think they’re very smart. I guess I could say that they are good company when your parents leave, and you want to feel safe from the horrors of the creaking doors.    

Have you ever owned a dog? Do you know the pain that comes when your dog either gets sick or hurt? Well, if you do, then you still will not know how weird it feels when your dog is not around for a couple days. There’s a certain emptiness that accompanies having a dog not in the house (if you’ve had a dog for a certain amount of time) and what great sadness it brings to your family. Unless you are like me and don’t really care about your dog that much, THEN you don’t have any feelings toward your dog. Having a dog can either be a joyous experience or a memory that is scarred by extra chores and annoying slobber. If you have a good heart, then you will love having a dog, as the experience can be wholesome and enjoyable. And, if you’re like me, you will continue to have a bad experience for upwards of 8 years. Some people will tell you that their dogs are so adorable as puppies and then the aging cycle hits. Aging brings gray hairs, though cool, means that your dog is old and slow. Thankfully, this hasn’t happened to me yet, as my dog is only 5 years old. Although, there is a bright side to having a dog that’s older. They get slower and have less energy, which then translates into a more enjoyable experience because your dog isn’t jumping on you or around you as much as they used to. Sometimes I feel like I will miss my dog once she dies, or if I miss the “young” version of her. And I will, just in a different way than others. My way of missing my dog (either version), would be that I would miss the playfulness that my dog brings to the household, as well as what my dog brings as sort of a sometimes-happy spot in my life. The hopefulness of having a dog is like a bear trying to nab a fish from a raging river. It’s always there, and you will mostly enjoy it. I say mostly because sometimes that hopefulness becomes too much, and your dog will go a bit crazy when it’s dinnertime. The whole circle of life thing with a dog is a weird and frightening experience, though, with my feelings about my dog, maybe not.

Among other things, do you feel like your dog is an impendence on your life? As in, say, you want to sit down quietly and read a book. Then, your dog erupts with this fury of barks and whines, only because there is someone walking by on the sidewalk. Do you know how frustrating it is to be in a position where you can’t do anything to stop the impending onslaught and must lock yourself in your room in order to get away from it? It’s a horrible thing to experience, though sometimes it scares off occasional people getting too close. Your dog is one of the better protectors, but sometimes that protection goes a bit overboard. They run around feverishly while trying to warn us about someone 40 feet away and of no danger to us, our family, or the house. It’s kind of stressful when your dog is barking, and you don’t know what to do about it.  I think sometimes maybe it’s also stressful for them, because they feel like they are the ones that are responsible for protecting us. Which, I mean, is noble of them. They think they are the heroes of this story, but really, they are an annoyance to our daily life.  That saying, I do enjoy it when my dog scares someone away, even though they are doing absolutely nothing. I’m pretty sure they get kind of frightened which makes me feel bad as a fellow person, but on the other hand it is hilarious.  Most of the time, I hate my dog. She trots up to me like a horse on a walk and just slobbers all over my clean clothing. My dog usually gives me no respect, which makes it impossible to train her to do the things that I want to do with her, like to go on walks without being pulled, or going on a hike without a leash in case she runs off. I would love to just have a normal dog. Instead, I got a slobbering, maniacal dog who has no self-control and would love to eat anything she sees. But, on the other hand she is super loyal, will protect my family and I (unless she gets a food bribe), and will maybe be polite every once and a while. Though it may seem like I hate my dog, I really love do love her inside.